the Furnace-Makers
prefix smol suffix droni
vendis codis-conda
4 ft, 3 in
13 ft, 1 in
8,377 lbs
size variance
core temp.
1-13 months
no. appearing
physical appearance
The smoldroni /ˈsmoʊldroʊni/ is a heavy, furnace-like stranger with a core temperature of approximately 2,408°F. Its hollow body is composed of a substance similar to iron, though it cannot be pierced or dented by normal means. This metallic "flesh" displays excellent insulating properties – while its outer surface is smolderingҐ to the touch, its hands and feet are not. Despite its durability, however, the stranger possesses no regenerative ability.
Ґ If you press's going to take the skin off of your palms.
surface sheens
1. furnore / 2. oburn / 3. scaldowne / 4. fouo
The smoldroni exudes a thick, black smoke from its mouth and eyes; this smoke entirely blackens all surfaces that it comes it contact with.
Ћ You can wash it off, but it's really hard to wash it off completely. Things tend to stay a dingy grey, or the cleaning products might bleach the paints off.
When it speaks, the stranger's deep, blaring voice bellows forth through its mouth and eyes. This voice, although human-like, is too heavily distortedԒ for words to be discerned.Ѥ
Ԓ Like someone screaming, but it's being blasted out through a series of unseen pipes and trumpets.
Ѥ ...because you can't hear it over the roar of the inferno.
the crinkling of burning paintings and clay bricks.
environment and generation
The smoldroni appears in a wide range of interior locations.ђ The presence of iron seems to significantly raise the likelihood of a smoldroni infestation, and it often generates near furnaces, ovens, and large fireplaces. Otherwise, its tendencies lean primarily towards old buildings, empty rooms, and, especially, bare brick walls.
a pale bricks and windowed bridges that span the two old factories.
b a tile floor buried beneath five inches of picture frames, newspapers, collapsed boxes, and broken plastic toy shards, greyed out by the sun through the glass.
c you don't need to turn the corner before you hear the incinerator roar.
The stranger first starts off as a heap of hard iron, from which its body forms, head pointed upward and tail curled around the side. It grows larger over the course of several days, then spends the first few weeks of its life in a dormant state, until the fire inside sparks to life, and with a sudden blast of flames out the eyes and mouth, the smoldroni awakens.
Eyes closed, mouth closed.
you can have this now
roasting inside, all-deluxe oven
imagine it... that delicious roast, beads of juice dripping from the skin. my mouth is watering, isn't yours? you can feast on luxury every night, self-cleaning and auto-locking, foolproof for your intimate and in-home dining experiences ªº ¥H´N ... »
In disposition, the smoldroni is slow and methodical,ʈ moving in a leaden, lumbering manner, each step accompanied by the screech of twisting metal. It moves at a slow and regular pace, and displays no emotion of any kind as it wanders through blocks of homes, apartments, and shops. Despite its size, the smoldroni prefers small-to-medium-sized rooms over large, open spaces, and eschews crowds.
ʈ Frustrated, but only dully so.
The smoldroni must consume objects in order to keep its internal temperatures up, and is killed when the fire inside it burns out. Plastics and soft or natural objects (like wood, wax, and cloth) provide better fuel than rocks or glass. There is no preference towards better-burning objects, however; instead, the smoldroni seems to select objects at random. Even a single object, however, can provide enough energy to sustain the smoldroni's life for several days, and death by starvation is not common.
In terms of pursuits, like many strangers, the smoldroni's attention is drawn to the human form. It moves towards and always consumes person-shaped objects within visual range. Some smoldroni also appear able to recognize two-dimensional images of people,Ӷ with 47% displaying these "flat-abstraction" responses.
a ivory figures of Chinese aristocrats.
b novelty salt and pepper shakers; a nurse in white, a mortician in black.
c a handmade doll with scraps from weaves sewn on as hair.
a the iconic photo of Che Guevara.
b the stolen Mona Lisa.
When not wandering or eating, the stranger spends its time at rest, its head pointing upward.
link to house fires
Though it does not deliberately cause fires, the smoldroni's passage through tight, dry, or otherwise combustible spaces brings with it the risk from the sparks and embers that flicker from the stranger's mouth and eyes. Should a fire break out near its immediate vicinity, the smoldroni lingers in the flames, a smile upon its face and its body unharmed, even as high temperatures turn its flesh red-hot.ɺ
ɺ And we mean red-hot.
The smoldroni remains for some time after the fire has subsided, and once its body cools down, searches for undamaged photographs, jewelry, or other keepsakes, which it crushes beneath its feet, and will not consume as fuel. It is able to tell the difference between a cherished object and one viewed with no attachment, even when not visually apparent via marks or other indicators.
there's nothing left behind.
you don't remember what you wanted.
interactions with sensitives
The smoldroni approaches all sensitives it sees, plodding towards them with a weighty inevitability. Once it is close enough, it firmly grabs at its target and drags them forward in an attempt to eat them. It is relentless, and cannot be dissuaded by violence or loud sounds.
The screams of the dying sensitive and the crinkle of their crispening flesh appear to amuse the smoldroni; it keeps its smile for up to four days after the remains cannot be discerned.Л
Л So, here's where it gets interesting. Because when the body inside of the stranger burns, it melts down, too – and the melted person's parts and fluid start to fill up the inside of the chamber, mixing up with the iron bars and other things that don't ever melt down.
The smoldroni can only be dissuaded with water; large quantities prove fatalƚ to the stranger.
ƚ But, you'd have to be a sadist to do that.
The smoke ruins wallpaper, couches, your designer Mousee shoes that you just bought, whatever it gets on, it ruins. It's pretty slow but it's really strong! You definitely don't want to get close enough for it to grab you, unless you want to end up inside of its blazing inferno that's gonna burn you up until you're a crispy overdone potato chip of a human being. If you see it, spray it with a hose until it dies. Here comes the fireman, fool!
danger rating: don't go inside the oven stranger
interactions between smoldroni
When two smoldroni meet, both move to face each other, and then, in unison, point their heads upwards and sit down indefinitely. When this occurs, no other behaviour takes place, and neither smoldroni responds to any further outside stimulus. Smoldroni remain in this position until death occurs. This behaviour only occurs in pairs, and subsequent individuals who encounter these pairs display no particular interest.
you're going the right way
you can stay comfortable inside, watching zoo animals cooking inside their cages !!
did you ever think you'd see a tiger in real life? there's not much time left, with limited supplies...
does it feel like the sun is... getting hotter?
don't wait - buy, before we say "goodnight" to these genuine bargains forever! ¬° ²]
aging and death
As the smoldroni ages, its body cools down, and it grows less interested in its surroundings as it starves. Once the spark within it goes out, so too does the smoldroni die, leaving behind its solid "iron" corpse. This corpse can remain for several years, but does eventually rust and break down, persisting only as a pile of black flakes.
now listing: posts containing "smoldroni"
hey, can nonsensitives see the smoke?
@ ▙▛▜▘/▝▞/▛▜ at 05:17AM
our anniversary mementos... INTACT??
@ ▖▘▚▛/▜▝/▖▘ at 02:55PM
@ ▞▝▚▚/▝▛/▜▘ at 10:19AM
a few questions about the smoke
@ ▘▞▙▜/▞▚/▚▛ at 05:34PM
fires in the saltire - smoldroni outbreak?
@ ▙▖▗▙/▙▚/▝▗ at 04:16AM
help with answering questions! (about the smoke)
@ ▚▝▝▘/▛▚/▜▗ at 07:18PM
fire insurance? just a "waste of money"??
how can you say that, that's irresponsible. in arson season you're saying that too? in fact, haven't you read the newspapers lately? "You don't need fire insurance..." Disappointing, and holding a newspaper that catches on fire very, very easily, with your loved ones nearby. but you can fix it with fire insurance, and show them that you truly care.
don't let them burn for nothing...