the Humorists
prefix merri suffix dronel
4 in
1 ft, 2 in
3 oz
size variance
core temp.
37 mins-2 hours
no. appearing
see entry
physical appearance
The merridronel /mɛrədroʊˈnɛl/ is a small, blue stranger with short limbs and a wobbly, tubular, liquid-filledƄ body, the surface of which is not wet, but is difficult to hold onto. Its skin is composed of a single piece of thin, stretchy rubber. The merridronel lacks an inner mouth, and its expression curves up into a fixed smile; the lips, like its toes, are fused.
Ƅ With the watery gel inside, it feels like a...water balloon?
The humectant substance inside its body disappears when touched, and feels much like glycerine-based gel, eliciting a similar coolness upon the skin.
distinctions in color
1. mazzle / 2. tabic / 3. epipastic / 4. mazzemotic / 5. panzolent
You may safely approach and handle merridronel. However, avoid getting the inner gel in your mouth, nose, or eyes, as the taste is harmless but unpleasant. They may at most cause a mess that is bothersome.
danger rating: don't eat that gel
The fragile skin can be popped with any sharp edge, such as a knife or needle, but even a rough scratch of the fingernail is enough to burst the stranger's fragile form. Heat causes it to pop and fizzle, although it does not appear affected by cold, the gel remaining fluid even in freezing temperatures. There either is, or cannot be any regenerative response.
0033[merri]dronel (notes)
The inner gel of the merridronel's antifreezing properties has immense commercial potential as a lubricant for low temperature applications, such as with use in superconductors. While well-known for being a "safe" strain, my research has identified a harmful effect on human health caused by direct contact with the gel, which only shows up after repeated exposure. Luckily this can be considered a minor liability in its industrial applications that corporate buyers will not mind ».
The merridronel's presence is accompanied by random but melodic notes, similar in quality and resonance to the jingly sounds of a child's jack-in-the-box or otherwise, quietly "musical" toy.
a jingly tune that doesn't match up with itself.
environment and generation
The merridronel can be found in damp or humid interiors of all kinds. There, it starts off as a small, rubbery bead that swells to form the mature merridronel within six seconds.
Infestations always begin with a single individual; this "qualifying merridronel" splits itself laterally into two "new" individuals, which continue to duplicate in an amoeba-like manner. The duplication rate varies based upon the number of people nearby; in areas of high population density, duplication occurs once every 50-180 seconds whereas, such a split occurs every 3-10 seconds in depopulated areas.
The merridronel cannot grow to completion in overly dry locations. In such unsuitable locales, it generates instead as a moist, crumpled husk upon the ground, leaving behind the smell of burnt rubber as it dessicates itself fully, and crumbles apart.
generative habitat notes
generation observed 26/03/14 at Faraday Laboratories (freight entrance)
notable factors
1. Venmax© industrial shredder
2. puddle of accumulated moisture (environmental humidity level of 88%)
3. steam disinfectant system (broken)
reminder to self: look up industrial shredder prices!!
The merridronel possesses a whimsical and simple disposition. Its movements express a perpetual glee, an impression aided by its innocent face and musical voice. Despite its vulnerability, it displays little regard for its surroundings, and dancing with floppy hops and bounds. When pushed on its side, it rights itself; otherwise, it is generally non-responsive.
someone is on your side
why won't they let them play???
your daughter or son deserves the best childhood memories... don't let those wet blankets in the government try to take away their favorite toys! that's a "negligible" amount of industrial waste, it was declared legal and they want to steal that from you, and ruin your fun ´¿ ¸ ...
Despite the stranger's lack of coordination, it tends to stay near its companions, and groups tend not to spread themselves too thin. When left to expand, regardless of the space, the mass of merridronel to pile up on top of one another, and the collective weight pops those at the bottom. A group's size thus tends to stabilize after a certain point.
Though lightweight and non-destructive, the merridronel's spread can pose a hazard to easily toppled objects, just as its gel can soak into a carpet or a discarded jacket to cause a mild discoloration.
Such as empty WANT™ energy cans, or half-full take-out containers.
interactions with sensitives
The presence of sensitives does not alter a merridronel's actions in any way, and it can be picked up as long as care is taken not to puncture its skin. When held, the stranger continues to wiggle, oblivious to its captivity. Those sensitives who wish to spend time with the harmless stranger, but do not wish to risk breaking it, may lie down on the floor near a group – they will inevitably find themselves covered in a tumbling pile of merridronel.
Touching a merridronel alters its ability to duplicate itself.
0033[merri]dronel (notes, continued)
Generation 1: Slight variations in color, proporion, or skin thickness. (Copies.)
Generation 2: Variations become more immediately abherrant. Bright green, tiny legs, thin skin that burst right away. (Copies of copies.)
Generation 1: Noticeable deformities. Missing arms, truncated tails, a frowning mouth. Splits occur irregularly – longitudinally, or in improper divisions of 3-4 parts. (Copies of copies of copies.)
Generation 1: With successful duplication of the third generation occurring only rarely, this is the final copy; still bobbing despite being pathetically deformed, and dividing into swelling and twitching chunks that crumple into foam. (Copies of copies of copies of copies.)
aging and death
Infestations of merridronel are short-lived, and their longevity as a group is determined by the initial, "qualifying" merridronel's lifespan. Though their death (whether deliberate or otherwise) does not harm the group, once their lifespan has elapsed, individuals begin to pop spontaneously, and the group dies off within thirty to seventy seconds. The burst merridronel's skin dries and shrinks over the course of several hours, while its gel evaporates within twelve to nineteen minutes.
finally, it'll be yours for good
there doesn't have to be an end
we know you can't wait for what's coming next.
Infestations often appear in direct succession, in specific locations whose properties support the strain's recurring generation (such as humid locker rooms and damp basements). The gel inside the corpse does not evaporate in the presence of immediately subsequent merridronel, allowing their gleeful "victory splash" to be observed.